Crabtree shouldn’t sit on his couch in Lubbock

The NFL had one of its more underrated days of the season last Saturday. Cut day leaves some big names and formerly big names without a job. For some reason seeing some washed up player’s dreams dashed is highly entertaining. The best thing about it is that the news trickles out throughout the day. What, Oakland released Jeff Garcia? JaMarcus Russell is literally the only quarterback on their roster. Looks like Tom Cable is going to punch a couple more assistants after watching Russell for 16 weeks. The Eagles kept Vick as their #3 Quarterback? Good for them. There is also one added bonus to this season’s cut day.

As San Francisco picks their 53 men to go to war with, Michael Crabtree was on his couch winning Rookie of the Year in his Madden season. He went through the whole preseason without pulling a Cardinal Red jersey over his head. His cousin said ”they” were prepared to sit out all year. They? Is his cousin holding out for a contract too? His cousin can hold out for the rest of his life and the 49ers won’t care. Maybe he is just making sure Crabtree gets enough money so he can mooch off of the receiver for the rest of his life. What Crabtree, and his cousin, needs to realize is that his chance at the big money is now, not next year.

If this was the same Madden season Crabtree is playing on his couch right now, he would be signed in 14 seconds. Unfortunately in real life, teams and contracts deal with much more than outrageous amounts fake money that doesn’t even belong to anybody. Teams deal with stigmas. Stigmas that consist of things like, “he is difficult to sign,” and ”he has a lot of talent, but he is more trouble that he is worth.” Attaching a couple of those shameful labels to your name significantly decreases a player’s value. Crabtree has already captured these in the eyes of fans and some teams, with only his projected talent keeping the 49ers and a couple others still interested.

His outrageous gifts solely give him even the option to sit out a year. After missing the whole training camp it is unlikely that he will see the field this year even if he comes into camp tomorrow. The routes and aren’t laid out on the field in thick yellow lines like in the virtual NFL. Talent doesn’t go away. He obviously won’t be the same not playing a full year, but the drop in his play could be minimal, considering that seeing the field is highly unlikely this season. Of course that is what they said about the Lions’ Mike Williams. He couldn’t even find the field.

They of course aren’t the same receivers. Williams used his physical skills to overpower small DBs in college and never really learned how to run a route. Crabtree is much smaller and is actually known to be a crisp route runner. He was a god is Lubbock. Maybe he should stay there another year. Or maybe he should stop crying over insignificant amounts of money to him. At what point does it not make a difference? The difference between making $12 million and $13 million a year is a lot smaller than the difference between making $40,000 and $1,040,000 a year.

Things change over the course of a year. Madden comes out with a new game, new receivers come out of college that steal all of the hype; a cousin could even get a job. It comes down to two paths for Crabtree this year. Win Rookie of the Year in Madden and get all the chicks he could ever imagine. Or he could win Rookie of the Year in real life and then get more chicks then he could ever imagine. What would you do?

Expectations, what expectations?

The preseason is finally over. After a 4-0 preseason there is no reason to believe a 3-1 record in the preseason means anything. The play on the field tells and the players on paper tell a different story. Now let’s be honest no one remembers the preseason from a year ago, but I get the inkling that the starters looked better than they did a year ago. However no one really knows for sure, which brings us all to the question to be asked: how much can we expect from this team? While an improvement is obvious there is no ball park figure for wins for this team.

We know they are going to win one game. No team has ever gone 0-16, let alone in back-to-back seasons. If a franchise was to complete the impossibly bad feat it would be the Lions. With every week that ends with an “L” next to the Lions name will be the creeping thought in every fans head that they could do it. On the other hand, the odds are astronomically high even for this sorry excuse for a franchise to put up the dreaded 0-32 mark. You heard it here first, the Lions will win at least one game next year. Who says I don’t break news?

The other apparent thing about this team is that they are not headed to the playoffs. Both lines are suspect, the quarterback position is uncertain and the secondary is different but still bad. If Delmas can hit someone other than his own guys in practice the unit could be upgraded to below average. That is too many holes to be a playoff team. If they make the playoffs I will take a dump on the neighbors’ lawn. I’ll do it. That makes the win ceiling for the season to be reached somewhere around 7 or 8.

Here is where the problems start. Usually you can get a reasonable guess on the win count. At least within 2 to 3 wins. How they do it is usually up to the Lions. Sometimes Jon Kitna wants to guarantee 10 wins, go 6-2 and then win one game the last half of the year to go 7-9 exactly as I predicated. Other times they will just occasionally win a game like normal teams. This year I wouldn’t be surprised with a 1-15 or a 7-9 year.

Stafford could get the start, turn out to be terrible and have the coaching staff be too afraid to pull him. Combine that with the defense being its same old self. Add a couple of key injuries and you have a 1-15 season. HOWEVA, get good quarterback play from either Culpepper or Stafford and add the veteran linebackers giving this defense an identity. Take that and hope Kevin Smith can make a step up and the receivers behind Mr. Calvin can catch a ball and you could have a spectacularly average team that wins 7 games.

This is how it should be. Maybe I am drinking the roofied Kool-Aid that the Ford Family keeps sending me but the only thing I know about this team is that they are going to be bad. There is also a glimmer of hope. The team looks to have some actual NFL players and supposedly a future at quarterback. No one knows the level of bad this team is going to be. While no one predicted the 2008 edition to win zero games we all felt they were going to be terrible. For some reason this unknown level of bad this team is going to accomplish this season intrigues me. I’ll enjoy every second of the ride. 

Third String Heroes

In the final edition of this year’s campaign it is all about the defense. I say the final edition because once that fourth preseason game is over it immediately turns to the first string and real football. If we see any of these guys on the list get significant playing time September 13 fans should be very worried.

First we have some cleaning up to do. The Lions obviously don’t agree with me on Eric Fowler’s potential because they cut him before the game. Swayze Waters got injured as well, automatically removing him from the honorable mention list. That leaves just Aaron Brown as a Third String Hero. He did not damage that label Saturday with a 7 rush, 37 yard performance. He also finally got a chance to return kicks and used his speed to bounce one to the outside and make a guy miss. Not since the days of Eddie Drummond have the Lions had a returner who was a legitimate threat to take it all the way. Aaron Brown could be that guy. The modern day James Mungro and the modern day Eddie Drummond rolled into one. Now that is a special player. With that combination he could turn into the first ever Third String Hero Hall of Famer.

Joining him on the Heroes list is a man who barely missed out on it a week ago. They old cliché says that defense wins championships. If the Lions want to win the Third String Super Bowl, which is what all fans are shooting for this year, we need a defensive captain for that unit. I officially nominate DeAndre Levy. Forget about the capital letter in the middle of his name for a second and watch him play. His coverage skills are suspect because he is slow, but the kid hustles. When ”hustle” is in the title of your blog you have to appreciate that. He isn’t afraid to stick his nose in the middle but he isn’t exactly a form tackler, nonetheless he gets players on the ground. That is all you can ask. Think of him as the most homeless man in Compton’s version of Ernie Sims.

On the hit list side of things, all three players remain on the team. More importantly all three remain on the hit list. Joining them is a man who also barely missed making the list a week ago. The final straw was him getting embarrassed by receivers named Tamme and Garcon. He spent more time horizontal to the ground than on his feet. Lamarcus Hicks can be seen in the background of any play in which a Colt receiver in running in the open field. His futile dives to try to reach any part of the no-named receiver who had just blown past him looked like someone who accidentally pressed the dive button in Madden. Although, he can’t dethrone Aveion Cason, he is a close number two. The final lists for the 2009 Preseason:

Third String Heroes:

Aaron Brown 

DeAndre Levy

The Hit List:

Aveion Cason

Lamarcus Hicks

Stuart Schweigert

Keary Colbert (two catches for 20 yards moved him to the bottom of the list.)

Looking at this list you can tell the Lions suck. The Hit List is twice as large as the Heroes List. The only players who were cut by the Lions on either list were Heroes. This team has never been known as being solid three deep on the depth chart, they haven’t even been known as being solid one deep on the depth chart, but the team still needs to fill out the roster with the best players. When Aveion Cason inexplicable holds onto a roster spot for the 40th straight year, I wonder if they accomplished that.

Taking a Realistic look at the Tigers Stretch Run

36 games remain in the regular season and the Tigers are a fortunate bunch. Still relatively new to being buyers at the trade deadline, many fans were astounded when they saw that the Tigers grabbed two new pieces to fit in this season’s puzzle. The first was one of the biggest prizes available in Jarrod Washburn. He has seen his ERA rise 0.59 points since he joined the club. In an after deadline deal, they also stumbled upon the bat they needed in Aubrey Huff. As fans have watched him go 2 for 24, many are wondering how lucky they really are.

Keep counting your blessings, the Tigers are in first place. Graced with what seems like a perennial weak division Detroit has taken a 67-59 record and turned it into 4 game lead. The only problem with luck is that when a team plays 162 games, it tends to even out. Using Bill James’ Theorem for projecting W-L records, the Tiger +16 run differential is good enough for 83 wins. That is the same projection of wins as the fourth place in the AL East Toronto Blue Jays. That is a 16 and 20 record from here on out. There is some good news from this however; both the Twins and White Sox are projected for 82 wins. With a common deviation of 3 wins on the formula, don’t put your rabbit’s feet away just yet.

Teachers, coaches, parents are always telling their students, players, and children to think positive thoughts. Thinking positive will lead to that positive thought ultimately materializing in real life. At least that is what the believers say. Let’s pretend all fans are believers and that will ultimately put the Tigers in the playoffs. The likely first round ALDS opponent would be the (projected) 93-69 New York Yankees. We all know how that turned out last time. HOWEVA, this is a different year. This is a year in which the Tigers are 1-5 against the Yankees. Also, not many fans know this but the Yankees also have a brand new stadium. Inside that stadium is a wind tunnel to right field. As a primarily right handed lineup the Tigers as team will have trouble matching Mark Teixeira’s home run total in that series.

Like Lions fans on opening day, there is unrealistic hope. The 2006 Tigers were 2-5 against the Bronx Bombers. C.C. Sabathia is fat. There is an 85% chance he develops type two diabetes by the time October hits. A-Rod still sucks. The only difference between the Lions and Tigers, other than them playing two different sports and the Tigers being good, is that the Tigers occasionally realize that hope. Jarrod Washburn will have pitch a decent game every now and then and Aubrey Huff will have to morph into this team’s Craig Monroe but the potential is there, another difference from the Lions.

Don’t let the division lead fool you, this team is fighting for their playoff lives every day and it is a lot closer to going away than four games. Maybe I am just trying to downplay the disappointment I would feel if the Tigers lose in the ALDS with all the Yankees talk, but one thing is for sure. Keep the lucky penny in your shoe a little longer.  

Fixing the Little League World Series

I have spent the past weekend inexplicably watching the Little League World Series. Despite my pure hatred for the LLWS it is a mainstay on my television, mostly because of the expansion of international pool games on television. For some reason the international game is ten times more intriguing. Maybe it is the clash of styles seen during the Curacao and Japan game; maybe it is just that Asian kids are more interesting. That does not mean that I haven’t seen the U.S. kids play, I have seen pretty much every game played in Williamsport intermittently. After all of those hours spent watching 12 year-old kids’ dreams get crushed I feel obligated to fix the broken system that is the LLWS.

The malfunction in Little League stems from the fact that they don’t even play real baseball. This has to change. That means leading off and being able to run to first on a dropped third strike, among other things. These are supposed to be the best kids in the world and they can’t even lead off? This isn’t softball. Some of these kids are going to high school next year, where they are going to be severely behind in their base running skills to the kids who played travel ball. Stealing is not only encouraged but essential, in those other leagues. Just like, you know, the Majors. All of the things Little League leaves out are not only important aspects to the game, but it also adds to the fun and excitement as well. In an event that is nationally televised, wouldn’t you want more excitement?

If allowing leadoffs leads to making the base paths longer, good. Judging from the length of the rubber to home plate, 46 feet, compared to a major league mound the base paths should be longer. The Little League mound is about 78% of the Major League length. Using the same percentages for the base paths would lead to 68 feet between bases instead of 60. While changing the infield the grounds crew might as well move the fences back another 25 feet.

They moved them 20 back from the ridiculous 205 feet in 2006, but it wasn’t enough. I understand that chicks dig the long ball, but I’m sick of kids hitting balls straight up in the air that carry over the fence. 250 feet will yield plenty of home runs and will help repair, but not totally diminish, the virus that is four home runs a game per team. I feel like 50% of all scoring is due to home runs. This is out of control. Also I know kids want to be on Sports Center reaching over the fence to save a home run, but the fence height can be higher than the players’ waist. Make the fence a foot taller than the average little leaguer. If a 12 year old wants to make the Top Ten plays he should have to earn it. Locate the wall, find the correct spot, time the jump and make the catch. Only after that should a little leaguer make it in the same segment as someone who records an unassisted triple play after booting two balls.

As I watch the LLWS on a yearly basis, many of these complaints come repeat every August. However, one problem popped up this year that I must have blocked out from previous years. It is an inexcusable offense based on the Little League creed. They claim they are an organization that brings together Little Leaguers from all around the world. Yet, international teams consist completely of children of the United States. Germany consisted of Ramstein Air Force baseball, completely American. Saudi Arabia almost completely American children of oil company employees. If you claim to be bringing children of all backgrounds together at this event, you can’t integrate these kids with some of the citizens of the country? The goal is also to grow the game and no Saudi kid is going to want to play baseball when their country is “represented” by a bunch of foreigners. Therefore I am instituting the rule that 50% of the children on a team must consist of players who were born in the country. Honor it Little Leagues, or I will find you.

To take the Little League World Series and make it a summer mainstay on the arguably the most powerful sports network in the world requires a lot of work, ambition, and tweaking. Now that it has made it to the top, it seems like the organizers are frozen in time. Kids are getting faster and stronger; the world is becoming more interconnected. Leaders of LLWS refuse to see that, judging from them waiting about 5 year to make the decision to move the fences back. The old fashioned LLWS people are just hardwired to do it their way, whether it is beneficial to the Little Leaguers or not. That’s a guarantee. Also guaranteed is that Chinese Taipei and Curacao will invade my TV every August. I can’t help it.

Third String Heroes

The bad news was evident on the field yesterday for the Lions. Stafford sucked, the defense sucked, all of the people who begun the game (not the starters, because on a Jim Schwartz team there are no starters right now) played like they were disappointed for missing the Little League World Series. Maybe Coach Schwartz just needs to begin again. To get that ball rolling I am here for week 2 of the Third String Heroes. 

First we need to make some corrections to my list. The defensive third string hero from game one turned out to be USC standout Darnell Bing; unfortunately he had zero chest bumps against Cleveland and is now banished from the heroes list. The other hero, Aaron Brown stays atop the heroes list. As for the hit list, Keary Colbert did not see the field but remains on the team, and Stuart Schweigert got beat on a long touchdown run. Both remain on the hit list. The only way to be removed from the hit list is to be either a.)  cut ensuring no one sees you wearing a Lions uniform ever again, or b.) turn into some kind of playmaker on the third string. The coaching staff is looking for starters in these preseason games, and these players can’t even finish one.

Aveion Cason can’t even finish a play, let alone a game. A fumble, a 2.9 YPC performance and an abysmal performance returning the football turns you into one thing: the number one player on the hit list. Congratulations, Cason. Your play earned you the only award you will ever receive as a professional player.

The new edition to the Third String Heroes is someone who has a long way to go to be a professional player but has good upside. Unlike the 6′0 194 pound Dane Looker, who has reached his ceiling as a player at age 33, Eric Fowler has some good potential. Coming out of Grand Valley State, Fowler needs a little time to figure out how to use his 6′3 frame. The knowledge that he does have, he puts to good use as one of his three catches last game demonstrated good body control. On an out to the sideline he caught the low-thrown ball and found a way to get a knee down in bounds and then scamper to the sidelines to stop the clock during the two minute drill to end the first half.

The three points that resulted off of the final drive led me to notice one other player. He isn’t eligible to be a Third String Hero because he has literally zero chance at making the team but Swayze Waters is intriguing for two reasons. First, he knocked down a 51 yard field goal with room to spare. Sure it was an easily blockable line drive kick that was hooking hard, but it went in and touched the back netting. Second, strangely named kickers work. Michigan Punter Zoltan Mesko is the greatest punter ever to come through the history of the school. Olindo Mare is having a stellar kicking career in the NFL. Weird names only work for kickers. They are so replaceable that if it comes down to Swayze or some guy named Rick the GM is going to take Swayze on name alone. I guarantee Swayze Waters will be on an NFL roster next year. With all of the let’s take a look at the list:

Third String Heroes:

Aaron Brown 

Eric Fowler 

Honorable Mention: Swayze Waters

The Hit List:

Aveion Cason

Keary Colbert

Stewart Schweigert

Next week will be the finally of the 2009 campaign of Third String Heroes seeing as the team is pretty much set going into the fourth preseason game. Also check MVN.com this week for my thoughts on the return game and the curse of Eddie Drummond.

Where are they now: Lions First Round Picks part 2

Part 1. After a decent run in the early ’90s the draft selections were just starting to deteriorate when we left off. Today we look delve into the decisions that made the Lions a yearly threat for a top five pick. The last edition saw two guys who played 12 years with Detroit and had Pro-Bowl seasons. This edition has but one player that you can make an argument that he wasn’t a bust. Here is your roster of big time busts:

Aaron Gibson, OL, Wisconsin, 1999: An All-American season with the Badgers led to the Lions selecting the fattest player in the history of the NFL, weighing in at 410 lbs. Not surprisingly, he didn’t work out. After two seasons the Fat Tub took his lard to Dallas, and then Chicago…and then Austin. That’s Austin of the Arena Football League. With the league folding this year, Gibson needs to reevaluate his life choices.

Chris Claiborne, LB, USC, 1999: Detroit took Claiborne ninth, ahead of a slew of players who eventually found themselves in a Lions’ uniform including Daunte Culpepper, Damien Woody and Fernando Bryant. His career started off ok with four years of 50+ tackles. He then decided he was too cool for the Lions and signed with Minnesota where they moved him to the outside. After one more decent season, he steadily declined and was last seen with the Giants, making 1 tackle the whole season. He is still holding onto the dream and has not retired but we all know his career is over.

Stockar McDougle, OL, Oklahoma, 2000: The first pick of the new century was the one with the best name. McDougle went 20th overall and was supposed to anchor the line for years to come at left tackle. After starting 11 games in two years, he was moved to the right side. He impressed so much that the team let him walk after five years of service. He went to Miami and then Jacksonville but hasn’t been an NFL roster since the 2007 season. Like Claiborne, he is still living the dream and has not retired.

Jeff Backus, OL, Michigan, 2001: Probably the only success story still on the board, Backus came to Detroit because of the 18th pick. Despite some question as to whether he is good it hasn’t stopped him from started every single game for the Lions since that fateful day when he was cursed forever.

Joey Harrington, QB, Oregon, 2002: Now it gets fun. Joey Heisman came over to Detroit with the 3rd overall pick. He got everything started by discussing the correct pronunciation of Oregon and saying all the right things. Then we saw the true side of him. On one of the Lions only non-Thanksgiving day national broadcast, he played the piano, ate strawberries and wine and had an irregular heartbeat. Needless to say, he couldn’t handle the city and was traded for a sixth round pick. Basically the Lions trade #3 overall for some in the 180s overall, great move. Harrington went to Miami and lost the only chance he had to start to Cleo Lemon. He then moved to Atlanta, where he last appeared in an NFL regular season game, which only happened because Michael Vick got injured. He is now 14th on the depth chart in New Orleans and lives every day in fear of getting cut. His career stats look like: 26-50, 79 TDs, 85 INTs, 14693 yards with a 69.4 QB rating.

Charles Rogers, WR, Michigan State, 2003: The 2003 NCAA National Championship changed Rogers and the Lions’ Franchise forever. Willis McGahee took caught a simple screen pass and took a hit that destroyed every ligament in his knee. McGahee was supposed to be the #2 pick. That honor went to Rogers who became one of the biggest busts in the NFL (Andre Johnson went a pick later). After a solid 8 games in his rookie season, Rogers broke his collarbone. He then started smoking weed hardcore, broke the same collarbone in the next game he played and then kept smoking weed and added prescription drugs to arsenal. His 440 yards and 4 TDs in three years are the only numbers he has put up in the NFL. Since then he has gotten arrested and had seven kids with two different women. One more and he gets the group discount at Disney World. He also appeared on Outside the Lines in a story that goes from sad to kind of funny in a span of about 4.3 seconds. Between hearing a man with a college education say “yeah, I blew ayeday, I blew ayeday,” and watching Matt Millen get another chance at trying to explain himself you can’t help but laugh. How fast did Millen accept the offer? “Hey Matt, we’re doing a story for Outside t–,” ”I’m in! It’s in front of a camera right?” At 28 Rogers is looking for a return to the NFL but, no one is going to take him if he is blowing ayeday.

Kevin Jones, RB, Virginia Tech, 2004: The Lions liked Jones’ 1647 yard final season at Va. Tech so much that they traded up to get him. Early on he was spectacular, rushing for 1,000 yards in his first season. However, after I used a second round pick in my fantasy draft the following year to get him, his career went downhill. As his yardage went down, his touchdowns actually went up. In his final year with Detroit, he had only 581 yards, but 8 TDs. That performance was not good enough to keep him on the team and Jones signed with Chicago following that 2007 season. He spent last year as a backup to Matt Forte and will continue that role this year.

Roy Williams, WR, Texas, 2004: Williams’ 4.36 40 yard dash earned him the 7th overall pick in that same 2004 draft that led to Kevin Jones as well. He was supposed to be the second half of a receiver duo that was going to be around for years. That didn’t work out so well. Williams put up a solid 4.5 years with Detroit, recording 4,314 yards and 31 TDs and one Pro Bowl appearance. During the tail end of his stint here, he realized he was going to enter free agency Lions and just stopped working out. Instead of letting just him walk Detroit involved him in arguably the greatest trade in the history of the Lions franchise. Roy Williams and a 7th round pick for, get this: a 1st, 3rd, and 6th. In other words Roy Williams cost more to acquire than Brett Favre. Those picks turned into Brandon Pettigrew, Derrick Williams and Third String Hero Aaron Brown. Not a bad haul for someone who was going to leave anyway.

Mike Williams, WR, USC, 2005: After following everybody’s role model Maurice Clarett into the draft, Williams was forced to sit out a year after the ruling was overturned. The Lions didn’t shy away and made him the third WR to be selected with their first pick in three consecutive years. Rogers, Williams and Williams on the field at the same time! Think about the matchup problems! Mel Kiper loved it. Turned out Williams didn’t know how to run a route and was 270 pounds. He played just 2 measly years with my favorite team and recorded 2 TDs and 449 yards. He played 2007 with Oakland and Tennessee and is attempting a comeback. Ha ha! Oh that’s not a joke.

As for the three recent first round picks Ernie Sims, Calvin Johnson, and Gosder Cherilus you probably know about them. They are still on the team and it is too early to decide whether they are busts.

Quick Recap: 0 Hall of Famers, 2-3 Pro-Bowl players and only one player that was selected 1st Team All-Pro while with the Lions. Not counting the last three 1st picks prior to this year, the Lions have had 18 picks that average 5.4 years with the team. Not exactly cornerstones of the franchise. The good news is the last three picks look good. Stafford and Pettigrew, the two first round picks this year, have played one and zero games respectively. Just a bit too early to tell. With the Lions history, they literally have no expectations to live up to. There is always good news.

Where are they now: Detroit Lions First Round picks

While the preseason brings hope, there is only so much you can write about it. In an effort to bring Lions’ fans down from their training camp high I have chosen to continue the “Where are they now” series after the highly successful 2003 Detroit Tigers edition, the second installment leads to another depressing part of Detroit sports, the Lions first round picks. In 1989 the Lions took Barry Sanders #3 overall. Since then, in the past 20 years, there have been 21 college superstars that are linked only by the dubious distinction of being a Lions first round pick. In chronological order since that Barry Sanders selection:

Andre Ware, QB, Houston, 1990: Ware threw for 4,699 yards and 46 TDs in route to the Heisman Trophy as a Cougar in 1989. The Lions thought he was good enough to warrant the seventh selection in the 1990 draft and he failed to live up to expectations in record time. He spent just four years with the Lions throwing 5 TDs and 8 INTs. After his debacle of a career he chose to move north into Canada. After going just about every CFL team, he then moved to Germany to play for the powerhouse Berlin Thunder of NFL Europe in 1999. He fractured his shoulder five games into the season and that derailed the last glimmer of his career, retiring shortly after the season. After doing color commentary on radio for the Houston Texans he was announced to ESPN college football’s broadcast team for 2009. Don’t get too excited he is only doing regional coverage for the SEC.

Herman Moore, WR, Virginia, 1991: After a college career that concluded with his number being retired at Virginia, the Lions selected him 10th overall in the ‘91 draft. Moore spent 12 years in the league, all for the Lions amassing 62 TDs and 9,174 yards. His career peaked from 1994-97 where he was selected to four consecutive pro-bowls and three All-Pro 1st teams. He also developed a love for Cinnabons during that time. He attempted a comeback with the Giants but that fell through before he could even play a game. Today he is the COO of a computer software company and resides in Rochester, MI.

Robert Porcher, DE, South Carolina State, 1992: Hey two solid picks in a row! Like Moore, Porcher spent 12 years in the league, all with the Lions, after being selected 26th overall. One pick after XFL MVP Tommy Maddox. He was selected to three pro-bowls (1997, 1999, 2001) putting up 95.5 sacks and like all of these people on the list, never won the Super Bowl. He didn’t leave Detroit but instead made his son the Lions Kick Off Kid on Thanksgiving even though he was obviously too old to hold the position. Also, he opened three businesses in the Detroit Area: Detroit Breakfast House & Grill, Sweet Georgia Brown, and Seldom Blues.

Johnnie Morton, WR, USC, 1994: After setting Pac-10 records in college the Liedowns picked him up 21st overall in the draft. Despite not having testicles according to GM extraordinaire Matt Millen, Morton played 12 average seasons in the NFL, 8 of them with the Lions. He put up exactly 0 Pro Bowl seasons, 43 TDs and 8,719 yards. Not exactly what you are looking for in a first round pick. After his NFL career ended in 2005 with San Fran, he went to MMA and saying he got his shit ROCKED would be an understatement. 38 seconds into his first and last K1 fight he suddenly became full of Jell-O. He showed some early aggressiveness but he is the unconscious guy on the mat here: He still hasn’t gotten up. No word on what he will do when does.

Luther Elliss, DE, Utah, 1995: The Lions passed on Ty Law and Derrick Brooks to select Elliss 20th overall in ‘95. Elliss played 10 years (9 with Detroit) and made back-to-back Pro Bowls in 99 and 2000. He amassed 29 sacks and zero playoff wins during those years. After hanging around Detroit Lions radio for a short time, he promptly disappeared. I know Luther is one of my biggest fans so he will be in contact soon to tell us about his non-denominational church that he is starting.

Jeff Hartings, G, Penn State, 1996: 4 out of the first 5 picks were at least reasonably good in their tenure with Detroit. This is where it starts to get painful. Hartings was the second of two first round selections for Detroit in ’96 and while he wasn’t terrible it was what Hartings did after he left Detroit hurts. Not being a fan of Michigan, he returned to his home state to play for the Steelers after 5 years. With no useful stats for offensive linemen there aren’t any comparable stats to his Detroit days, but he was selected to the 2004 and 2005 AFC Pro Bowl teams. He ended his average career after the 2006 season and is busy helping his boy Luther Elliss create his church. 

Reggie Brown, OLB, Texas A&M, 1996: The first pick of the Lions on the 1996 draft day, management liked him enough to take him 16th. Apparently they wanted him more than Marvin Harrison (who went 19th) and Ray Lewis (26th), and with good reason. Brown started 26 out 32 games in his two years in Detroit. With it being the Lions however, something bad had to happen to him and it did. In the final game of that ‘97 season Brown suffered a spinal cord injury and briefly, everything went black for him. It is widely regarded that CPR saved his life but obviously his NFL, or any other football career, was over. Surgery saved Brown’s mobility and his used his A&M education to land a job as a manager for a dealership group in his hometown of Austin, Texas.

Bryant Westbrook, CB, Texas, 1997: The Reggie Brown injury started a curse on first round picks. He made them either suck or get hurt. In the case of Westbrook, it was a little bit of both. The former 5th overall pick made the All-Rookie team but his success was short lived. After a couple of nice seasons, an Achilles injury sidelined him for a short while. After the injury he was never really the same and left the Lions after 5 seasons. He was cut by the Cowboys after one game in 2002, signed with Green Bay, realized he was terrible and he promptly quit the game. I respect that; at least he knew he sucked. His career was decent 13 INTs with 3 pick-sixes, but my new boy Reggie Brown had 2 pick-sixes as a linebacker in a third of the time. God hates the Lions. Westbrook doesn’t like me (I just know) so he will not reveal his whereabouts. By the way, 8 picks later Tony Gonzalez went to the Chiefs.

Terry Fair, CB, Tennessee, 1998: I have had a special spot in my heart for Terry Fair ever since I used him to take the first kickoff of the first game I ever played in Madden 2000 to the house. Unfortunately, when you waste the 20th overall pick (one ahead of Randy Moss) on somebody you want them to be more than a return man. He obviously wasn’t and being an ultimately replaceable return man doesn’t keep you on the team. He was cut following the 2001 season. He returned kicks for Carolina in 2002, took three years off and then tried to return kicks for the Rams in 2005 but was cut after 5 games. He has 7 career INTs and in midst of all the hype as a return man he only took two kicks for touchdowns (not including my Madden one). Both were in his rookie year. He has disappeared since then, and rightfully so, if he shows his face around here I’ll challenge him to a duel. And probably lose but still, he should probably stay hidden. It’s safer. 

There is your first glimpse what turned your beloved team from an on and off playoff contender to an 0-16 team. In two words: Reggie Brown. When you select a first round pick you hope for the face of a franchise. For a perennial Pro Bowl or at least someone who can play consistently. The only one who did not get injured and came close to fulfilling his draft spot was Herman Moore. Really? Other teams get Marvin Harrison, Ray Lewis, and Tony Gonzalez and the Lions fans are supposed to feel like Herman Moore was a winner? Seriously. All I am asking is for the Lions to make the right pick one time. Once! Never going to happen. Check back tomorrow, the ludicrous picks get even worse.

Huge Red Wing blowout…in August

After the recent Brett Favre signing, which everybody knew was going to happen, I need to take some time away from the early football season before I hear how Favre’s experience and gunslinger attitude is going to carry Minnesota to the Superbowl. I could write about Aubrey Huff making his debut, but seriously it’s Aubrey Huff. I can’t really dedicate a whole article to someone named Aubrey. That leaves me with the third biggest news of the week. Behind Vick and Favre the whole sporting world has been going nuts over Todd Bertuzzi returning to Detroit. What? You don’t care about the Red Wings in the middle of August? That’s why I am offering a Red Wing’s Blowout. We are having a blowout sale to rival every sale Art Van has ever had combined. Everything 90% off or more! It all must go, Go, GO!

Quick recap: After Huddler took a $10 million deal to play in the KHL, Ken Holland and company focused on Ville Leino getting him for much less than I thought at the beginning of free agency, just $800,000 a year. The list of other signings looked like this:

Todd Bertuzzi, $1.5 million

Patrick Eaves, $500,000

Jason Williams, $1.5 million

Three role players for a cap strapped team that already has its stars in place. Not a bad off-season considering the circumstances right? Well it might not be over yet. Despite the contract cutting with letting Marian Hossa and Ty Conklin walk the projected 23 man roster comes out to about a million dollars over the salary cap, if my calculations are correct. 23 is the max you can have on an NHL roster, including healthy scratches. When reducing the roster there is not a lot of wiggle room considering the minimum size is 20, but it can shed some numbers off the salary cap. Currently, the 23 man breakdown looks like this: 13 forwards, 8 defensemen, 2 goalies. 

The easiest cut is Derek Meech off the bottom of the defensive depth chart. Pack for Grand Rapids Meech. Despite his miniscule salary (483,000) he cuts the cap deficit almost in half leaving the Red Wings $487, 320 over the cap. Logic would indicate taking another forward off of the opening day roster but there is no easy answer to that. The three choices would be Leino, Helm and Eaves. The first two Ken Holland said during the playoffs that he expected both to join the team the following season. As for Eaves, why would you sign a 25 year-old who has been playing in the NHL since he was 21 to a one year deal and then send him to the minors? He is definitely going to be in Red Wing sweater opening day.

Looking at the defensemen yet again, the bottom two would be Lilja and Lebda. This is why there could be another move on the way. Management chose not to buyout Lilja so I assume they think he can still contribute to the team. With two years on his contract at $1.25 million a year it doesn’t seem likely that he would waste away in the minors. This leads to Lebda being the odd man out. Even after plateauing in recent years, he still has three solid years of NHL service and can contribute to a team. A trade may be in order here, but I doubt anything received in return can be of substance and under the cap for this season. Basically a meaningless trade, something the Winged Wheel has refrained from in recent years. It still may happen considering the depth of defensemen waiting in the minor league system. Jakub Kindl and Brendan Smith are both top prospects, and defensemen. But again, a trade for the sake of a trade is unlikely.

So we are back to square one. The guess is that if someone doesn’t get waived (Lilja) Helm gets sent down and sees a lot of spot duty for injuries and resting players but there is a lot that could change between now and then. 

Speaking of changes, for having limited cap room we are going to see four unfamiliar faces on this team if you include Jimmy Howard as a new face. For a team that went to the Stanley Cup Finals I can’t decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I like Bertuzzi because of the craziness factor. We all know never to fight a crazy person, but this takes it to another level. Next time George Parros, or anybody on Anaheim for that matter, tries their little tricks they are going to be watching their backs just in case Bertuzzi wants to drive them headfirst into the ice and end their career. He is a career ender, a cold-blooded killer. Do not piss him off because he become the Incredible Hulk combined with every villian ever on the ice. He just cannot control himself on the ice. For some reason I feel like I should appreciate that type of craziness. As for the Eaves and Williams moves, they are basically for depth purposes but didn’t we already try the Jason Williams experience? Was it so enjoyable that we had to get in line again?

The biggest message this sends is that the organization has zero confidence in Justin Abdelkader to contribute regularly. It’s not that he should be playing every day or even the first injury replacement but the kid seems to be able to handle the playoffs to a certain extent, he should be able to handle 20-25 regular season games. With the log jam at forward created by the signings, for him to appear in 25 regular season games would mean the swine flu took out half the locker room. This isn’t unprecedented for the Red Wings; Darren Helm has played more playoff games than regular season games. That isn’t a joke, 41 to 23.

I realize I am questioning the most dominant team in the modern NHL but this the new era, the salary cap era. I’m just trying to keep them hip while staying under the cap. I don’t want them to turn into the old fart who can’t figure out the navigation system in their car.

(Completely unrelated to the article note: I have started writing for MVN.com’s Detroit Lion’s site. If you like me so much that you will follow me every where you should click “The Lions Den” link in the sidebar and also write in the sky that Reggie Miller should stay away from married women. Oops too late.)

Third String heroes

While everyone is breaking down Matt Stafford and his laser rocket arm I am digging deeper into the depth chart to find a ball player to watch. Comeback to this post next week when it is the fourth quarter and nobody on the field is going to make the team yet you are craving an excuse to continue watching.

Now has been success with this before. Every now and then my dad, brother and I agree on a solid player residing on the 15th string. First Chris Spielman helped us out with James “Dirty” Davis at linebacker. Then a few years ago it was the great James Mungro at running back. Davis put in solid time with the Lions while Mungro was cut only to be picked up by the Colts the same year. After a slew of injuries to Colt’s runningbacks, he was actually put into a couple of games and rushed for over 100 yards in most of those games. He ended the season with 8 TDs in that 2002 season and I am pretty sure he ended up on my fantasy team.

This year it is almost too easy. Everybody saw Aaron Brown, the rookie out of TCU, score two TDs. Dude can fly. Really that’s all that matters. Look at Willie Parker, his only job is to run fast. Brown also made a couple of nice plays on special teams, including downing a punt inside the five (it was negated by a penalty, YOUR DEtroit Lions everybody). Desmond Howard and whoever was the play-by-play guy also liked the other RB, Allen Ervin, but everything about him screamed average. I’m looking for greatness from my third team, not mediocre.  I could have stopped there and said that Brown was my guy; that he was the modern day James Mungro but I didn’t. I went the extra mile and found a few other players to keep your eye on.

There is this character on defense, Bing. I didn’t even bother to look up his first name. So maybe I didn’t go the extra mile but he may have not deserved it. I’m not sure I even saw him make one play the whole game but I saw his jersey a lot, which means one of two things. Either he was all over the ball or he came in three steps late and was chest bumping the real players. Every team needs a really good chest bump guy, so keep an eye on him during garbage time against Cleveland.

HOWEVA, this is the Lions and let’s be honest, the four-deep is pretty weak. Leading the way was little Matty Stafford’s favorite target, Keary Colbert. With the top three recievers not playing, Colbert did everything he could to disappoint the masses. He turned into the homeless man’s version of Braylon Edwards dropping everything that was thrown his way. His most shameful moment came when Stafford used his laser rocket arm to uncork his first ever frozen rope in the NFL and it bounced right off of Colbert’s hands. Enough with the bad sports analogies, lets move to the defense.

Please don’t let Desmond Howard and anonymous play-by-play guy fool you, Stuart Schweigert is terrible. He got beat for an Atlanta touchdown and two of his four tackles were because he was two steps too late on coverage. The run is his specialty, but you don’t make my all-star team being dismal in one area and barely average in the other.

Time for a Recap:

Third String Heroes:   

Aaron Brown

Bing (Possibly. If not he is the league leader is helmet smacks and chest bumps.)

The Hit List:

Keary Colbert

Stuart Schweigert

Don’t celebrate too much Brown, the lists are subject to change in just case you suck against Cleveland. Oh and this list doesn’t mean anything you will probably get cut anyway.